For most of her childhood in Minnesota’s foster care system, Alayna Ghost tried to run away. Between ages 7 and 18, she was placed in at least eight foster or relatives’ homes and three residential facilities — always hoping to find her family. Each time she fled, she tried calling her mother, grandmother, or one of her five siblings, but no one ever answered. “I don’t really know what it’s like to have sibling relationships,” said Ghost, now 28 and living in Superior, Wisconsin. “I’ll never know what it’s like to have that true sister-brother bond.”
Her story reflects what many foster youth in Minnesota face, according to a recent report by the Office of the Foster Youth Ombudsperson. The report found that children in foster care are often denied regular contact with their siblings — and many aren’t even told they have the right to it. Under Minnesota’s 2018 Sibling Bill of Rights, foster children should be placed together or live close enough to visit frequently. They also have the right to speak with siblings not in foster care. But investigators found no records showing that any of the 56 children studied were told about these rights.
“It’s just even more traumatic when you’re separated from your siblings on top of being separated from your parents,” said Susan Dioury, who leads the Children’s Law Center of Minnesota. Out of 200 complaints received by the ombudsperson’s office in its first year, more than one-fourth involved problems with sibling contact.
The report also revealed that in many cases, youth went years without seeing their brothers or sisters, even when there were no safety concerns. Sometimes, visits were canceled as punishment for behavior issues, or foster parents resisted frequent contact. Ombudsperson Misty Coonce said she was shocked to learn that the Sibling Bill of Rights — celebrated by young people when it passed — had rarely been implemented seven years later. Her office is calling for clear documentation whenever youth are told about their rights and better guidance for caseworkers.
The Department of Children, Youth, and Families agreed with the report’s findings, saying it will update policies and improve communication with local agencies. “The lack of documented notification is concerning,” Assistant Commissioner Rebecca St. George wrote in response. The department is revising its foster care practice guide and plans to release a new version soon. Hennepin County also said it is reviewing the findings but noted that 86% of siblings in its foster system currently live together.
Nationally, sibling separation is widespread. Studies show that between 53% and 80% of foster children in the U.S. live apart from their siblings — even though staying together can lead to better emotional health and a higher chance of permanent placement. In Minnesota, where about 5,800 children are in foster care on any given day, Native American and Black children are disproportionately affected.
Rep. Peggy Bennett, who wrote the 2018 bill, said she was deeply disappointed to learn that agencies have failed to enforce it. “Somebody dropped the ball,” she said. “It really saddens me that it’s not happening.”
For Ghost, the years apart from her siblings left lasting emotional scars. She didn’t even know she had an older sister until she was 13, and visits with other siblings happened rarely. “Whenever I mentioned wanting to be with my siblings, they said it wasn’t reasonable,” she recalled. Sometimes, visits were canceled if a sibling acted out, which only made things worse. “Taking away those visits — that’s going to cause more behavioral issues,” she said.
Now an adult, Ghost only keeps in touch with one sibling. “It’s very mentally damaging,” she said quietly. “I just wish I had memories to laugh about that aren’t traumatizing.”
